| Why? |
[05 Jul 2009|02:37am] |
Why is it that when you put all of your faith in someone that same person keeps disappointing you and every action pushes you close to the edge of sanity.
Why believe in someone who doesn't believe in him/her self?
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| I'm thinking |
[03 Jul 2009|12:27pm] |
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that I need to listen and not go down the same path again.
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| Tuesday and Anna's last day |
[01 Jul 2009|12:05am] |
Had pizza and Mojos for staff meeting, ended the month at 430k.
Anna's last day, I wish her well.
Finally saw Lili's cubicle-full office, then BBQ boy afterwards. Setting of self-goals for the years ahead. Wake up call!
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| Happy Father's Day! |
[21 Jun 2009|10:52pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
] |
I rode a mechanical bull for the first time today! I was dressed kind of western pa, so medyo bagay. Hahaha. I rode for a good half minute before I lost my grip (more like I couldn't get a good one after I raised one arm in the air) and I got thrown off the bull! I tried holding on so hard, I even skinned two fingers in the process. Oh well, what an experience though! It's not as easy as it looks!
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| Revelations |
[21 Jun 2009|01:00pm] |
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mood |
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 excited |
] |
I can't wait for you to get here. Rock and roll na! :D Jammi says you still have some stuff to figure out, as do I, but no matter what, you're on your way. That enough will make me shut up for now. :D
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| Sexy Beast |
[21 Jun 2009|02:09am] |
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mood |
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 sad |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Feel Good Enterprise |
] |
Super busy day at work, but dinner and coffee with Jammi made up for that. I got tamad to go to fete and swim in people, so we went to support Ziggie in his band's gig. Fun. I wish you made a move.
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| MoA |
[19 Jun 2009|11:39am] |
| [ |
mood |
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sad |
] |
is so far away :(
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| Realizations |
[18 Jun 2009|10:21am] |
For the sake of nostalgia, I was looking at old entries from 2004. HAHAHA is all I have to say. :)
But looking back makes me want to write here again, since I probably will be able to recall things better when the time comes. There were some entries kasi that had events I barely remember without any clues, so this really helps. :)
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| I think I need to write about this |
[23 Jan 2009|10:25am] |
before I forget anything.
Yesterday started with me getting up early, since I wanted to visit before work and because I wasn't able to visit the day before. I already spent Sunday night watching over her, just in case anything happened. I had already told pretty much anyone that I hoped nothing happened on my watch, but I guess it was meant to be.
Anyways, I got to the hospital around 11 am, and immediately I noticed a difference. They pulled out her machines and stopped giving her medicine last January 20, but we weren't expecting for her to wait out this long. Her oxygen and ECG monitor were the only things left attached to her, and when I was there last Tuesday, her breathing seemed to come in continuous gasps of air. This time, however, her breathing seemed shallow. She would only gasp a few times every minute, and with one look at her monitor, the doctors predicted that she wouldn't last the day.
After some visitors left, I took a look at the setup she was in. Frail, face obviously tired from fighting too long. On her was a gold blanket with Chinese prayers written all over it, for they put it over after they all prayed over her the night before. Behind her headboard was a red balloon, my aunt said it was her Chinese birthday yesterday.
I sat in the chair right in front of her monitor, trying to count how many times she breathed in the last minute. Her BP was 54/31, a far cry from the normal 120/80. Then, I noticed that she hadn't breathed in a while. My dad, who was on the other side of her bed, also noticed. When more than 15 seconds passed, he immediately stood up and whispered in her ear (in Chinese) "Ma, you can go now." In those 15-20 seconds, her vitals remained constant, but then they suddenly dropped. Her heartbeat went from 60 to 38, then her BP also dropped. My dad and my aunts were hurrying to put on her all of the clothes she would be travelling with, as well as shoes, a water bottle, and her dentures.
That was 12:40pm. The nurses took out her oxygen mask and her feeding tube, and attached a defibrillator machine. My aunt already signed a DNR form, but the nurses had to wait for the doctor to come and declare. An hour later, the doctor came, inspected her, and called it at 1:25pm.
By now all of her children had come and started praying, with the sorrow breaking their voices. Once in a while, someone would stop, and just sob. I stayed for a while, but had to eventually leave to make the necessary preparations. We bought white shoes, white clothes, got our hair cuts done, and went back to the hospital around 9pm. They weren't allowed to touch her for 8hours, so she was scheduled to be dressed and transferred to the funeral home at 10pm.
My cousin, my dad, and I stayed over. They both watched them prep her, but I chose not to because I'm not sure if I could've handled seeing her like that. I only saw her again around 3am this morning, when they brought her in. When I looked at her, I immediately burst into tears. I think it was partly because she really did look at peace, compared to how she looked when she was still in the hospital, and it was partly because I just lost someone who's been in my life long enough for me to remember.
Within the next 5-6 days, everyone we know will come and pay their respects. As for myself, I'm okay, but I don't think I'm done crying just yet.
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| Bring it ONG! |
[03 Dec 2008|07:09pm] |
WHO AM I?
I'm Ellyn Ong. I'm a 23 year old photographer from Manila and I want you to show me the world through your eyes.
I'm starting this blog for all the people out there who have had these thoughts least once in their life:
1. I wish I could do that.
2. I should go there/try that some time.
and the all important
3. What if?
I want to live life, I want to experience culture, food, people, and adventure not only in other countries but my own as well. I want people to live vicariously through me, and I through them. I'm starting this alone but I want to build a community of people who are hungry for unique adventures. People who will be open to sharing their experiences and open to guiding others to experience the same things as well.
So with this, I say to the world, BRING IT ONG!
HOW WILL IT WORK?
Each couple of weeks, I will be posting a place I've been meaning to explore, and a budget I'm willing to spend. The rest will be up to you, the reader. Tell me what to do, how to get there, what to eat, who to talk to. Anything goes. I'll pick random destinations and activities to do, and at the end of the trip, I'll tell you how it goes!
However, there will be some limitations, for my own safety. :) I won't be doing anything that would put me in obvious life-threatening situations, criminal liability, or certain death. Embarrassment or anything dangerous, as long as there's a harness or a safety net, is okay. :)
Ready? http://bringitong.blogspot.com
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| Sizzling pepper steak GRAH |
[08 Oct 2008|12:41pm] |
If you guys are planning to eat at Sizzling Pepper Steak at Katipunan, I really urge you to think twice.
Last Friday, Dan, JC, Tony, and I went there. We arrived around 8:30, ordered, then waited for our food. Around fifteen minutes later, wala pa rin. We followed up, and kept waiting. Another fifteen minutes later, with our stomachs already grumbling in hunger, we followed up yet again. Wala pa rin. Around 9:15 we got really fed up waiting for our food, so we told the waitress to forget it and just bill us for the iced tea JC ordered so we could leave.
You know what she said? She couldn't cancel the order because they were already preparing it. This really got to my nerves and I demanded to talk to the manager. When he arrived, I asked him right away how long it took for a customer to get his/her food from the time they order. He said 5-10 minutes. I told him we ordered at around 8:30, then I told him to look at his watch and look at what time it already was, and yet there was still no food in front of us.
I was demanding an explanation, but Tony got too fed up by the incompetence of the manager (who just kept uttering sorry, pasensya na po, without giving me the explanation I wanted to hear.) Our food finally arrived (hello! after 45 minutes) I really wanted to leave but Dan and JC made a good point that the food looked good and we were hungry as hell, so we ate it anyways.
I think by the end of it we kinda overheard that the waiter who took our order forgot to place it. Even so, they should have well made up for it when we first followed up! God, their service is horrible! The food didn't even end up being worth the money we paid for it! Eat at Pepper Lunch nalang, same price, better taste, and faster service! GAH.
Just had to rant because this was driving me crazy! Starbucks 2.0 na!
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| Driving |
[16 Aug 2008|11:15pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 contemplative |
] |
Something Lili wrote on multiply urged me to write something too...
I used to drive fast. When gas prices weren't a problem that I had to deal with, I liked pushing the car to the limit. Yeah, my old Pajero ran on diesel which meant the fastest I could go was around 120kph, but whenever I got to drive any of the other two cars, you could almost guarantee speeding.
Whenever I brought those cars to school, I'd try to go home especially late. This was because I relished the long stretch of road that starts from the Quezon City Circle to as far as Delta, because on this road I could just put the pedal to the metal and just feel like...flying. I'd have both hands on the wheel, windows only slightly down (for minimum resistance yet still you could feel the air in your hair) my song-of-the-week on the radio, and the biggest smile on my face.
It was during those fast drives home that I got to forget everything that was going on in my life then, for in those few precious seconds I HAD to concentrate on the road. I couldn't be distracted, or else the slight shake of a hand and I'd surely be in great danger. I used to imagine myself driving away from bad professors, bad grades, problems, heartaches, and heartbreaks. I had to be alert, no other thoughts in my mind but the thought of being psyched-up enough to immediately react if something jumps out of nowhere. I couldn't dwell on anything for long because everything passed by in a blur.
Now since gas prices have reached an all-time high, such frivolities can't be afforded anymore. Driving used to be my escape, my drug of choice. It used to be what kept me sane when everything would go wrong. Whenever something bad happened, I could always deal with it and just look forward to that few seconds when I finally get to forget my problems, even for a while.
It was how I would cope, because in those few seconds when I was going 140kph I became happy, and that feeling pushed me to get over whatever was bothering me at that time. It reminded me that life could be good again, and that was how it felt when I didn't have the bad professors, bad grades, problems, heartaches, and the heartbreaks.
Nowadays, I feel like I'm driving that fast again. Only now, gas is not a problem because the road is my life and I'm driving too fast to let anything affect me. Everything's going by so fast: work, friends, family, love, failure...at the rate I'm going everything just seems to melt together into one big blur.
The thing is, If I like living life in the fast lane and that's what I'm doing now, how come I don't feel happy?
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| on being sentimental and growing old |
[04 May 2008|12:44pm] |
Back in first year, parties were always ridiculously fun. You drank to get drunk, and not to socialize. You find any excuse to drink: end of classes, start of classes, group projects, birthdays, small accomplishments, just plain hanging out, whatever. There's always beer in the fridge and liquor in the house.
The parties then were legendary. Back then, the parties were always so memorable and you'll always regret missing even just one. You'll especially regret it years later when people still reminisce about the thing that happened with someone and you don't have any idea of what happened because you weren't there. Everyone has less worries, less responsibilities which meant that you could drink to your heart's desire.
By mid-college we were having less and less parties, but there were still hardcore drinking sessions where you're guaranteed at least one instance of someone barfing. Getting together meant drinking after class, and just talking about anything and everything since you guys are together almost everyday. Memories were still being made-just less often. People became more aware of the stupid consequences of drinking so much. (The same stupid consequences that made for better recollecting.)
By the end of college, people were either too tired or too stressed out with schoolwork to actually drink so much. This was the time when people started realizing that their good days were coming to an end, because what awaited them was the "real" world. Then came the daunting thought of saying goodbye to a lot of people, and clamoring for whatever memories you can still remember to take with you.
Those parties were full of "What are you going to be doing now?" and "I don't know's" and you just kind of socially drank your way through them while staying sober enough to remember stuff. The one last hurrah was when you actually graduated and celebrated it by drinking until your world turns and you don't know the difference between up and down.
Now, it's been more than a year later. Our parties have been coming less and less, and you've barely seen a some of your friends since graduation. Every party now is full of updates, rants or raves about jobs (or lack thereof) and reminiscing about everything.
Which brings me to my point: When have we become so old that we choose to spend our time remembering old memories rather than making new ones?
Will we still be telling the same old stories we have two years ago, twenty years in the future? I'm sure we're still making memories, just different ones now. We won't have days we'll remember for spending a whole afternoon sitting on a slide because nobody ever has time for that anymore. No more stupidity that can be attributed to youthful ignorance. Now, our memories are of nights when we are able to get everyone (or most people) together, and certain special occasions.
Now it seems like we've grown older, and we'll continue growing older until all that remains of us are fragments of how we used to be.
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| :) |
[20 Apr 2008|08:03pm] |
Today was a fun day. Spent the whole day with the family (hahaha it's been like a year since we've had a normal non-vacation family weekend) watching movies, eating, walking around Trinoma, and eating again.
Days like these make me miss home. (parang ang layo kasi e...)
it was a simple yet happy birthday. thank you to everyone who texted!
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| Behind the velvet rope |
[13 Apr 2008|08:58pm] |
Last night was Pete's party in Embassy. It was my first time in the new one, having been to the old one once. I'm glad to say that it was fun enough, but I really don't think I'm missing much by not clubbing a lot. It felt good though to not be on the guest list, so wala nang pila-pila. We went straight through table reservations and through the velvet rope. I felt bad lang for the other people who couldn't go bec. they had to be put on the guest list, but I guess it was okay. Ang ganda rin ng service when you're there, as soon as your drink is emtpy, they mix you a new one. You don't even have to call them to do it. :)
All in all, it was fun. The club was full of old people, koreans, or old koreans who dance funny :P ang sayang panoorin
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| Last Night |
[06 Apr 2008|11:49am] |
was awesome! Kudos to Rico and Ellyn for (his words) being able to pull off a last minute party and for making it a success! hahaha
rico texted around 3 or 4 pm looking for something to do that night, i came over around 7 and we started talking about how much we missed the old freshman year cabbage parties and how we haven't seen some people for a year already (last time being grad)
so we got so senti and decided right then and there to make an impromptu inuman! texted the whole battalion as a shot in the dark na sana may makapunta. after dinner, we walked around the village (still another tradition) to anj's house but she wasn't there :(
we went to the park (aww we used to cut class just to sit on the slides and watch the afternoon pass us by) and hung out at the swing sets but later moved on to the jungle bars where we just talked and reminisced. then anthony arrived with bio-diesel and then juno arrived! juno! he's so awesome. hahaha
to think right before we left the house that night, rico and i made a pact that by 8:30 pm, it wouldn't matter if nobody came tapos kaming dalawa lang, we'd drink pa rin.
good thing a lot of people came even though we were gonna settle for the both of us lang hahaha how loser-ly of us :P
it was so good to see the people again after so long, and to finally have an inuman where we rid of that social drinking shit and really got shitfaced with baccarrat, blackjack, reverse blackjack, and the higher/lower and ESP version of higher/lower drinking games.
after 3 years, we finally finished the green land bonus whiskey we were laughing at when juno first brought the bottle back in 2nd year. worst whiskey ever! but it got us plenty drunk so who cares. hahaha
thanks to (in order of appearance) rico, tony, juno, trish, derek, aika, allan, ail, and yas. maybe some other people went after i left so sorry :)
cheers to good times! sabi namin ni juno let's just do this often enough para whoever can go, will go so we'll see each other often kahit not all the time. does that even make sense? :P
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| My Frankenstein's MANster |
[04 Apr 2008|01:19am] |
What if you could pick off certain "pieces" or traits from different men and create your very own Manster? What would you want?
I'd want him to listen to DCFC and get reminded of his childhood.
I want him to do Sudoku puzzles in pen.
I want him to be able to talk about anything and everything, no matter how trivial it is.
I want him to actually listen when I really want to talk.
I want him to kidnap me from work and take me to a field to watch the stars make their way across the night sky.
I want him to let me set random little things on fire. hahaha
I want him to share his dreams with me, and let me share my dreams with him.
I want him to smell good. Like if I didn't know him and he passed me by, I want him to be able to make me actually stop and turn to look.
I want him to be a man's man.
I want him to be a reader, someone who keeps himself up to date with current events.
I want him to be liked by my friends.
I want him to be accepted by my family.
ha! How selfish. :) A girl can dream. :)
What's your Manster like?
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| Fun Off Day |
[04 Apr 2008|12:17am] |
I haven't felt an official day off in a really long while.
Today was one of those days. :)
Spent the whole day with my best friend whom I haven't seen in ages, and also with my inaanak who's such a little handsome flirt. He's barely a year old and he's already walking. Babies always smell so good!
Chilled in the afternoon just here at home, cooked baked mac for dinner (such a hit with the family) and actually had a fun sit down dinner with the fam. For the first time in a while, it felt like a real dinner. (I'm starting to sound like a loser hahaha)
Laughed our hearts out at a gory English film (where a girl gets half her head cut off and a guy gets his head (still connected to his spine) and drags it across the dirt.
After that, we tired ourselves silly playing Wii sports. (We officially suck at gold btw)
It was a good day :)
I hate to be such a pessimist about it, but days like this make me wonder if I really can stay pa at what I'm doing now. I love it and all, but I just don't have time for myself anymore.
Working six 8-hour shifts a week sucks.
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